Little step

Hi Dear,
Been spending most of time today reading those investment blogs. Really interesting reading.
Many of them are still in their early 20s. Some are even still in uni. But they have already started with all their financial planning. I feel so embarassed. Here I am in my late 30s but yet have nothing if not for those that you have left.

If you were here and I shared this with you, I can imagine how you will respond. You will either laugh at me or either mock me. I really have been living in my own world for a very long time. A very selfish world full of myself. It's time for me to wake up and face the reality. I need to take that little step. It will be tough but I know no matter where you are, you will be there for me. How I miss you. How I wish I could turn back the time. How I...How I...There are so many things that I want to do with you. I miss you deeply. This will be my deepest regret in my whole life.

It will take me time to get over it but I have to forgive myself and move on.

I decided I should buck up and be a real human. The more I think and the more I read, seems insurance might be the suitable industry I need to be in right now. I can learn on the financial planning and at the same time build the income to sustain the family. I do not wish to have a major adjustment to the lifestyle of the children.

At the same time I will start on read up and do some investment as well. Maybe started with low risk investment such as ETF. Current market is on the low side but haven't hit the bottom yet. I will need to wait for some time before I place my choice.

Things that I need to do :
1. Lose weight ( at least 10kg. Target 20kg).
    My health is giving red light. Stamina is no longer there. I seriously need to improve on my health.
2. Start on financial planning
    To set target on income to achieve
    To control on expenses
    To invest
3. Spend more time with the children
    Manage my temper and have more patient to deal with the eldest

That's all I can think of now. Will update on the progress.

Love you and will always love you