Move on

Dear,
Today I drove mom to JB and did you know there has been changes in the custom clearance process? I went for car servicing and grocery shopping as usual. When I drove through the familiar road, all memories just flashed back. How we explore new road, new destinations when we just bought our car. How we always drive weekly just to visit some new places. How we hunt for good food.
Now there are more and more new eateries but nobody to share. Suddenly I lost interest in everything, every single thing. I only know I miss you so much, so so much that it hurts. It really hurts.
I always thought I am so capable, I can live without you. But I am so wrong, so wrong. You are the reason that I am strong, you are the reason that I am surviving. Without you, what should I do???

People keep telling me, time heals. But as time goes by, the pain is getting more and more real. Every single breath is painful.

I know I should let you go as you are in better place now but the selfish me really wish I can hug you for one more time.

I love you, dear. Really really love you till it hurts. It really hurts.