This blog marks the beginning of my journey as a single parent. I loss my dear husband on 18th Nov'15, which was just 3 weeks ago from the time I am writing this blog.
I am writing this blog to help myself in grieving, to pick up myself and continue my life journey.
I am 36 this year. My birthday is 2 days shy from my hubby's demise. It's the biggest birthday 'present' that I ever had in my life. I dun think I will ever celebrate my birthday anymore.
My hubby was 41 when he passed away suddenly, collapsed at workplace. He has been feeling unwell for some time but yet refuse to go for treatment. On the day he passed away, it seem he already had a feeling that he was not feeling well. He was supposed to go for a site meeting but instead of driving, he chose to take cab instead, which very much unlike him.
It was when he returned from the meeting and alight from cab, things happened. He was still chatting with his colleagues and all of sudden, he had collapsed and gasping for breath.
I was informed by his colleagues that he had fainted. Initially I thought he just passed out due to not feeling well. But even after 15 minutes later, I was told he was still unconscious. That was when I knew something was not right.
I prayed to God to save him, let him be cured and I am more than willing to take care of him, even till the end of his life. But God loves him more. I never seen him alive for the last time. He just left without a word. Until today it's still so painful. So so painful.
When I saw him lying on the operating table, with all the equipment to resuscitate him, I totally dunno how to react. I still can remember the scene till now. It was so painful to remember.
It was so painful. I remember touching his ice cold and pale hands, calling out to motionless him.
That scene is so painful. So painful to remember.
I remember the chill that sends me shiver. How I wish he was there, hugging me tightly, and telling me everything is going to be alright. How I wish!!!
Things never gonna be the same again.
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